Of Covid, Sex Trafficking & Other Trust Issues

Some people go through life being incredibly trustful.  They get that “Trust in the Lord” thing at a young age - and just go with it.  And others…  well, it’s not so easy.

But I’m learning.  The older I get, the more evidence piles up that trusting in myself is - well - foolhardy.  But trusting in God is - well - a no brainer.

Covid seems to have given us “Trust Lessons on Steroids”; though, I must admit - most appear to be failing the test.  I have remained fairly faithful however, but that hasn’t really been due to my huge ability to trust in anything but myself.  It’s mainly because I knew the truth; and I knew that God knew… I knew.

For instance, I was not able to get the Covid ‘vaccine’ - because I knew.  I knew that when I collected tissues to be used for “medical research” (such as creating ‘lines’ for vaccines) in college biology classes - those tissues had to come from breathing, living beings.  If they didn’t, well then, the tissue would be worthless, since it begins to deteriorate at the very moment of death.  So… we would anesthetize the mice we were harvesting organs from because, well, we’re just not that cruel.

To mice.

‘Unwanted’ newborn children are not that lucky.  Scientists (you know, the people we have elevated to a god-like state?) just dismember them, piece by piece.

And I knew that; and I knew… that God knew… I knew.

Most everyone else was ignorant when they stuck their arm out.  But I wasn’t.  I knew the true ‘cost’ of that vaccine.  Was I knowingly willing to support such a brutal industry: an industry that uses its formidable resources to promote the evil of abortion so as to keep a continual supply of victims for itself?  Was I willing to say that those countless infants should die to keep me ‘safe’ - that their life was not as important as mine?  

That was just a bridge too far for me.  BUT like I said - the whole “I won’t get vaccinated” rallying cry for me was not so much because I trusted God to keep me ‘safe’ from Covid; as it was because I knew I would be guilty if I got vaccinated.  I was NOT ignorant like pretty much everyone else who ‘trusted the science’.

Nonetheless, I figured that God had work for me to do, and I just went around doing it.  If He was going to take me home; then I guess that would happen whether I was vaccinated or not.  My life is in HIS hands; not mine.  And so, when Bobby came down with Covid in early December, I didn’t hesitate.  I went over and brought him a test.  Then I brought him food.  Then I hung out while he showed me all the renovations he was doing on his house.  Day after day, I kept checking on him.

His roommates, who had fled like rats on a sinking ship, all got Covid.  Vaccinated, unvaccinated - it didn’t matter; all got it, except for me.  I was actually pretty shocked - yeah, Ole “Trust in the Lord” me.  I figured it must have been a fluke.

And then, of course, I got to brag about how much I “Trusted in the Lord”… ad nauseum.

So fast forward to late January.  I traveled up to South Bend because there was going to be a Princess Party with at least a dozen or more 5 & 6-year-old Princesses - and I was the hostess (without, as usual, the mostess).  I arrived on Sunday to discover that Jonathan had Covid; but he had isolated himself in the finished basement.  Not a problem.  Katie and I still made plans for me to take the kids Monday for a sleepover; something I had promised before arriving.

Monday morning, I called and checked-in on the pickup time.  She told me that she was up all night - now she had Covid.  Same thing as Bobby & Jonathan: fever, aches, pains, congestion.  “I guess,” she sighed, “that the Princess Party is cancelled.”

“Why, would you say that?!”  I responded; I didn’t travel all the way to South Bend just to give up that easily!  And I still planned to take the kids overnight.  After all, with Covid, Katie was feeling pretty miserable; and could certainly use the break.  

When I showed up for them that afternoon, Lucy was sobbing.  “I have Covid now!” she wailed, “and so the Princess Party is cancelled!!!”

“Oh no it’s not!”, I responded.  We still had 5 days till the party; and that’s all it took these days - apparently.  The ‘quarantine time’ (and everything else) changes with the opinion polls, I mean - with the SCIENCE - each and every day. I then asked if Lucy could still do the sleepover.  Katie and Jonathan both responded that I would certainly get Covid if I had her in my house, but I said that God would not have brought me all the way there to do a Princess Party - and then let me catch Covid!  Just wasn’t happening.

Sometimes I think that I actually say these things more for the effect, than because I really believe them…  But Bobby had given me a glimmer of hope - obviously God could keep me well, if He wanted to.  I prayed that He wanted to.

Every day after that, Katie greeted me with “how are you feeling, Mom?”  And every day was the same answer - “Fine.”

But then Friday night I was up till midnight cutting up heart sandwiches, fresh flowers for them to give their moms, fruit and a whole host of other things.  I finally crawled into bed - simply to lay there all night unable to sleep.  Every hour I heard the clock chiming - all the way to 5am.  And all night, my mind raced:

“Why can’t I sleep?  Katie couldn’t sleep the night she got Covid, Oh, NO, Was I getting Covid?!!  Hmmm… maybe.”

And then: “Oh, NO, is my nose getting stuffy?  Hmmm… maybe.”

And, “Oh NO, is my lower back feeling achy?  Hmmm… maybe.”

And lastly, “Could I actually, on the day of the Princess Party (!!), come down with COVID?!!!  Hmmm… maybe!”

I shuddered at the thought.  But when my alarm went off at 7am; it was utmost in my mind.  Along with the decision I had to make.

“Do I”, s-h-u-d-d-e-r… “tell Katie I might have Covid?!!!”

As I stood in my kitchen looking at the hundred dollars’ worth of food, flowers and all else that would just have to get tossed - a sudden thought whispered in my ear: “I really don’t have any symptoms; I don’t have to tell anyone, they will never know!”

And then I started to ‘reason’.  I suspected that Covid had been vastly overblown for political and money-making reasons.  I knew that everyone coming to the party was young and healthy - and that even IF I had it - it was really no big deal.  The actual science is now pretty blatantly clear on that, for those who actually look at it. 

BUT.

But.  To not test myself was to take that decision away from everyone, and to put it on myself.  To not test myself was to play God, and most importantly - to be dishonest.  With myself; and most of all, with God.

For once again - DRAT - I knew… that He knew… that I knew.

There’s just no getting around that guy.

But then the thoughts returned.  Hadn’t I told everyone that God would NOT let me get Covid since He had brought me all the way up here?  Since I had gone all week without a single sniffle?  Shouldn’t I just ‘go with that’ and ignore the rest - forget the ethical part about testing myself, and just “trust” that I had it right the first time?  Wouldn’t ‘going through the test’ mean that I didn’t trust God?!!  That seemed like a pretty darn good argument, if you asked me.

And then, wouldn’t you know it, but Abraham came to my mind.  Hadn’t Abraham been told that his child Isaac would be the father of a multitude?  Hadn’t Sarah miraculously gotten pregnant in her elderly age?  Wasn’t that more than enough to show they trusted God?  After all, everything had gone pretty well so far - hadn’t it?

And then God had one last request.

Kill the child.  

How was Isaac going to be the ‘Father of Multitudes’ if Isaac was dead as a child?

But Abraham didn’t hesitate.  He figured that was God’s problem; not his.  He actually DID trust God.  He prepared the sacrifice.  And that’s when God knew - that Abraham knew - and still trusted.

So, I called Katie and inquired as to whether they had any more Covid test kits.

They did.  I shoveled the snow from my driveway, drove up to her house and went in.  I found Katie and the girls all standing there - big eyes and sorrowful faces.  All had clasped hands, begging God to let the ‘Princess Party’ happen.  In the girls’ little worlds - that’s all that really mattered; which is pretty normal.

But in my Big world - there was a larger issue.  How much did I really Trust God?

When that test popped up negative - I realized, with shock, that I really could.  But I sure didn’t have that trust in the moment needed; no, that would be too heroic, which is something I am not.  My action, once again, was really based on the fact that I knew… that He knew… that I knew.  And not disappointing my Heavenly Father was ultimately more important than my pride at being ‘oh so trustful’ - because I wasn’t.

He’s good at that. He knows what we need; and He knows our deficiencies.  So, He does a ‘work around’, to get us to where we need to be - (just to listen to us thereafter boast about our superior ‘Trust’ abilities)…  But I know… that He knows… that I know.  Sometimes, ‘Trust’ is nothing more than just loving your Heavenly Father, and not wanting to let Him down.  If that’s good enough for me, I suspect it might be good enough for Him.  After all, faith is good.  But faith without works - is dead. (James 2:17)

But wait!  That’s still not the end of the Trust lesson I got.  I decided to extend my trip and fly to Connecticut to surprise my sister for her birthday; and to see my parents in their Assisted Living apartment.  Not a Floridian’s most favorite spot in February, but I knew it would mean a lot to them; and what the heck - I was flying high on my bullet-proof ‘Trust in the Lord’…

That is, until the visits were over, there were no seats left on the flight home - and I had to buy a ticket at the last minute - for a flight to Florida.  

During Spring Break week.

Bob reminded me that we had a $500 credit that I could use, so okay - it’s not so bad; it would be wasted anyway.  So, I booked a ticket - the ONLY ticket - to come home.  And I still had to come up with another $300 just to do so…  

So, the trip to Connecticut to raise my family’s spirits - i.e. the Christian thing to do - was gonna cost me?!!  And cost me BIG?  $300 worth of BIG?!!

How fast our Trust flies out the window… (well, maybe just mine.)

So, I grumpily got on the flight - which had me flying halfway across the country to Houston, Texas - just to get back home to Florida.  And then my “connection from hell” was merely minutes - in a different terminal - causing me to run (in winter long-johns) through several terminals - in the hot South. 

But when I got to the boarding gate, and realized that Starbucks was right across from it - I remembered that I had hoped to get a Texas Starbucks mug some day!  I’m trying to collect one from each state we’ve lived in; but I figured I would NEVER make it back to Texas again to get one!  And yet, here I was!  See?  I just needed to trust that God had a plan after all.  (If there was a song that went with that theme, I would have burst out singing.)

Apparently, He cared so much that I got a ‘Texas mug’ that He went out of His way to fling me all the way to Houston.  WHAT a guy!!!

I wonder how much time God spends laughing at us?  Does He spit out His coffee laughing when we thank him effusively for a Texas Coffee Mug? 

Guess one day I’ll find out.

But I digress.

I got on the flight.  That’s the other thing - LAST row, jammed up against the window.  In my Connecticut winter coat, long pants and turtleneck - sweating profusely.  But being a Christian, I just fanned myself and put a happy smile on my face.  Gosh, I wonder if I might be up for martyrdom?

Nonetheless, that’s when the girl came in.  A mean looking Hispanic woman plopped a sad looking young Hispanic girl right next to me, tightened down her seatbelt and told her something in Spanish.  I figured it was her mom, and wondered if she might want my seat to sit next to the girl.  But since I had the worst seat on the plane; I doubted she would think it ‘generous’ of me to ask.  So, I just focused on the movie I had started on my cell phone.

And then something made me think I should look at this girl.  I would like to say it was my astute observational powers, but you already know that I know… when God knows… that I’m lying.

Nonetheless, I began to notice things; such as the fact that she had nothing.  No bag, no luggage, no purse.  She just sat there.  She avoided all eye contact, and refused anything to eat or drink.  The jacket she was wearing still had the store tags on it.  And then, when she fell asleep and her head fell back, I noticed what looked like a healed slash mark on her neck.  Hmmm…

I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming urge to get up and tell the flight attendant that something was suspicious with this girl.  I mentioned ‘sex trafficking’ and he perked up.  Bob has said that the pilots and flight attendants are getting training on this all the time, since it is one of the major crimes in the US today.

I sat back down.

The long and short of it?  The police met us when we landed.  The girl was 13, from Honduras and her parents were ‘deceased’.  She said it was ‘her friend’ who sat her in the seat; but she didn’t know ‘the friend’s’ name.  And ‘the friend’ tried to hightail it off the plane when it became apparent that something was going on and we were all being detained for something…  And oh yeah, there was a Hispanic man in baggage waiting to pick her up.  He had no identification.

And once again, I FINALLY figured it out.  I think I am here on this earth to do - I don’t know, the Grammy thing?  Am I here to contribute to bible study?  Am I here to pester Bob every day?  Does God just fling me all over the place so I can collect coffee mugs?

I don’t think so.  I think He just has little roles for me to play.  Where there’s a need, He knows I’m ready to go.  And I do so, clueless as usual, and most likely complaining the whole way.  But He’s used to that.  It’s just another ‘work around’ for Him.  But it seems to work for the both of us; and so, I guess I can just ‘trust’ that that’s the way it is.  And He most likely gets a good laugh out of most of it; because, let’s face it - after all, He is dealing with me.

An example.  There was a sweet young man sitting on the other side of the young girl on the plane.  Afterwards, we began talking and realized that we were both thinking the same thing.  While waiting for the police, we kept comparing notes about it.  He was really sweet, had his cute little baseball glove with him on the plane and all.

I ran into him again as I got to the curb with my luggage.  Once again, he was around all his guy friends and we all started comparing notes about the girl situation.  He said that he had been praying for her the whole time.  As I was about to leave, I mentioned that I saw his baseball glove and that my husband played baseball for the Naval Academy.  He got all excited and said how great we had that in common too!

I then asked if he played for a local college.  He said, “No, we play for the Astros.”

“The Who?”  I politely responded.

“The Astros, you know, The Houston Astros?”

Suddenly my eyes focused on the fact that they were all standing there holding giant ‘HOUSTON ASTROS’ bags while waiting to get on their ‘HOUSTON ASTROS’ van - with their ‘cute little’ baseball gloves.

“We’re here for Spring Training,” he said with a smile.

I could have sworn I heard some coffee being spit out somewhere up above.  And as we drove away, Bob turned to me and said - “This is so weird, I got a letter today saying that we had some money in an account I didn’t even know existed!  It comes out to $300.00.”

Geez, I can never take credit for anything!